Opposite Of What Is True Is Also True! And What Is
Have you ever felt confused and frustrated when you had to make a choice between the opposites? Or act in a manner that is completely opposite to what you are comfortable with. If yes, then you are not alone in this conundrum. Consider the following situations
• Your role model boss sometimes acts in a highly the authoritative manner and at other times he acts completely opposite and comes across as a highly caring leader
• The same boss would have told you to be patient sometimes and to show utmost urgency at other times
• How many times you have heard that one should dream big and at the same time develop the ability to let go of what has been achieved
Then there are traits like – confidence and humility, work and rest, effort and effortlessness passion and dispassion, freedom and discipline, consumption and sustainability. I can go and on and I am sure you have also encountered many. Don’t they look contradictory? Apparently yes but not only they coexist but are complementary to each other. I call them “opposite twins”.
How can these contradictions be explained?
Here are there perspectives that may explain these contradictions.
• The Behaviour Is Situation-Dependent
Smart leaders adapt themselves and chose the best leadership style appropriate to the situation. They are not dogmatic about any particular leadership style. Yes, they may be comfortable with one or two styles, but they appreciate the importance of other styles and are open to using them. So, at times their behaviour may appear contradictory, but it is what the situation demanded. In fact, by using opposite twins they not only make better decisions but, in the process, become complete leaders. A number of researches conducted by Harvard corroborate the effectiveness of situational leadership.
• Nature Always Manifests In Opposite
There can’t be a better example than nature itself, which is the most intelligent entity that we see and experience every moment. It always presents itself in opposite twins – day and night, pain and pleasure, sour& sweet, etc. As if one cannot exist without the other. Perhaps we understand the importance of one because the other exists- As an example- we understand the importance of peace after turbulent times. Isn’t it?
• When You Follow One You Get the Second as well
For example, when you follow discipline you excel in academics, you get promotion & money, etc. In the process you also get the freedom (opposite of discipline) to enjoy life in the way you want to. Take another example when you care about your team you get the authority to rule them as well. Do they look complementary now?
So, what are the lessons
• The starting point is to be aware that the opposites coexist. They look contradictory but are in fact complementary to each other and lead to better decisions and better leaders.
• The second step is to become aware of yourself – Which part of the “opposite twins” you identify with and which part you resist? For example, I used to consider myself to be a caring leader. All my actions and behaviors were driven by this. In fact, I was mechanically acting in that manner without realizing that many situations called for authoritative decisions. I was missing big time by resisting to become authoritative.
• The third step to start applying these opposites. A safe way is to start where the stakes are not high. Slowly and gradually with practice & feedback, one can grow the skill.
• A very important aspect to leverage the opposite twins is to develop the ability to read this situation correctly. Does the situation demand patience or need immediate action? Do I show my vulnerability or my confidence? One of the cliched but an effective way of reading the situation is to maintain emotional stability during the tough situations and not get over-excited during the good times. This is easier said than done, but there is no gain without pain.
Opposite twins may look contradictory but actually complement each other. Effective use of them not only helps in the successful accomplishment of tasks but also in the leader’s development. So, enjoy the jugalbandi of the opposite twins!
